When Loyalty Becomes Self-Destruction: Are You Sacrificing Your Mental Health for a Company That Doesn’t Deserve You?

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Written by Cari Borden

Let’s get real.

If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve started to feel it, the fatigue that doesn’t go away after a weekend, the silent resentment in back-to-back meetings, the Sunday Scaries that show up by Saturday afternoon. Somewhere along the line, your loyalty turned into a liability. And here’s the gut check: you might be giving your all to a company that wouldn’t notice if you disappeared tomorrow.

🚩 The Red Flags You Can’t Keep Ignoring

  1. You’re praised for overworking, not for your impact.
    If “you’re such a trooper” is code for “you skip lunch, stay late, and never complain,” congrats, you’re being celebrated for self-neglect.
  2. You feel replaceable and responsible.
    They remind you anyone can do your job but still expect you to fix everything that goes wrong. That’s not accountability. That’s manipulation.
  3. You’re anxious before work…and after.
    If work stress is living rent-free in your brain 24/7, it’s not a phase. It’s a warning signal.
  4. Every boundary you set is viewed as “not being a team player.”
    Translation: your mental health is inconvenient to their hustle culture.
  5. No matter how much you give, it’s never enough.
    The bar keeps moving. And oddly enough, the gratitude never arrives.

⚔️ Fight or Flight? Let’s Talk Strategy.

You don’t have to blow up your life tomorrow. But you do need a plan. Here’s how to begin:

🛡️ If You Choose to Fight (aka reclaim your power internally):

  • Start documenting. Red flags, requests, your contributions, track it all. Data is power.
  • Reinforce your boundaries. Don’t explain. Don’t apologize. Just set them.
  • Find internal allies. There may be others feeling the same. Power in numbers.
  • Invest in YOU. Coaching, training, therapy, put yourself back on your own to-do list.

🏃‍♀️ If You Choose to Flight (aka exit with clarity and class):

  • Update your materials. Resume, LinkedIn, portfolio, get ready to move.
  • Network smart. You’re not just looking for a job; you’re looking for alignment.
  • Don’t wait for the final straw. Leave while you still have energy to rebuild.
  • Give yourself grace. Leaving isn’t failure, it’s freedom.

🧭 Final Thought:

There is no job worth your mental health. Not one.
Loyalty is a two-way street. And if the bridge is one-sided, it’s okay to stop crossing it.

If you need a strategy session to figure out your next step, whether it’s to fight, flight, or find your fire again, let’s talk. Check out my coaching services on Fiverr or drop me a message.

Because you were never just an employee. You were, and are, the asset.

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