Written By Cari Borden

Ever met someone who keeps their cool during a crisis, listens like they’re being paid for it, and gives feedback that doesn’t feel like a stab wound? Yeah, that’s emotional intelligence at work. And no, it’s not just for “natural-born” leaders or those annoyingly self-aware yoga instructors. It’s a skill, and the best part? You can actually practice it.

Here are the habits emotionally intelligent people tend to live by:

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1. They Pause Before Reacting

They don’t send emails while angry. They pause. (Groundbreaking, right?)
Practice it: The next time you’re about to fire off that passive-aggressive Teams message, take a breath. Or ten. Or write it, then delete it like a grown-up.

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2. They Know Their Triggers

Emotionally intelligent people know what sets them off, and more importantly, why.
Practice it: Start a “trigger tracker”, when something rattles you, jot it down. Eventually, a pattern will emerge. (Spoiler alert: It’s probably not them, it’s something deeper.)

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3. They Master the Art of the Empathic “Hmm”

They listen, truly listen. No interrupting, no “one-upping,” no fixing.
Practice it: Next convo, challenge yourself to listen without offering advice. Just nod, say “hmm,” and see what happens. (Hint: people love feeling heard.)

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4. They Set Boundaries Without the Guilt Spiral

They say “no” with grace and don’t apologize for needing space.
Practice it: If “yes” is your default, try replacing it with: “I’d love to help, but I’m at capacity.” (Bonus: sounds way more professional than “I’m one email away from quitting.”)

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5. They Validate Emotions — Even the Ugly Ones

They don’t shame themselves for being human. Sad, mad, anxious — it’s all welcome.
Practice it: Start by validating your own emotions. Instead of “I shouldn’t feel this way,” try “It makes sense I feel this way because…”

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6. They Own Their Part (Without Taking the Whole Blame)

Emotionally intelligent people reflect, not deflect.
Practice it: In conflict, ask: “What was my part in this?” not “How is this all their fault?” (Harder than it sounds. Worth it.)

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Final Thought:

Emotional intelligence isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being aware. It’s about slowing down, tuning in, and leading (yourself and others) with heart.

So no, you don’t need to start journaling at sunrise or buy an expensive retreat package. Just pick a habit. Practice it. Get a little better each week.

Your EQ upgrade starts now.

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Call to Action:

Need help flexing that emotional muscle? Let’s talk. I coach professionals (and some very tired leaders) on building emotional intelligence without the fluff. Find me on Fiverr or hit me up for a custom coaching session. Empathy meets strategy, I’ve got you.