Written By Cari Borden

I know, I talk a lot about toxic leaders. I break down their behaviors, toss a little sarcasm their way, and hold a mirror up to the chaos they create. But here’s the thing most people won’t say out loud:

Not every toxic leader is evil.
Some are just… human.

Yes, some do thrive off control and fear. But others? They’re simply repeating what they’ve been shown. They’ve never had a mentor. Never seen leadership modeled in a healthy, empowering way. And let’s be real: in corporate culture, how often do we reward authority over authenticity?

Toxicity Isn’t Always Intentional

Sometimes people lead with fear because they’ve never been led with trust.
Sometimes the “power trip” is masking deep insecurity.
And sometimes, brace yourself, it’s not even personal. They just don’t know another way.

Let’s break it down:

• The Unaware Inheritor – Learned toxicity by osmosis. Think of the “I turned out fine” mindset.
• The Power Drunk – Fully aware, fully enjoying the control. (We see you.)
• The Wounded Warrior – Leading from trauma, not strategy.
• The Fence-Sitter – Teetering between old habits and a desire to grow.

Can a Toxic Leader Change?

Short answer? Yes.
Long answer? Only if they want to.

Change starts when leaders:

• Ask for real feedback (and don’t get defensive).
• Get humbled—and sit with it.
• Start listening more than talking.
• Choose to lead people, not manage tasks.

I’ve seen it happen. I’ve worked with leaders who were once feared and are now respected. The difference? They got the right mentorship and did the work. I am one of those people.

The Mentor Effect

Leadership doesn’t have to be lonely or reactive. One good mentor, one coach, one trusted colleague, one brutally honest conversation, can shift everything.

“The most toxic leader I ever knew became a different person when someone finally said, ‘You’re better than this, and I’m not afraid to tell you.’”

Don’t underestimate the power of mentorship. It’s how cycles break. It’s how cultures change.

Let’s Be Clear Though…

Empathy doesn’t erase accountability.
Understanding why someone is toxic doesn’t mean you excuse it.
But believing people can change? That’s not naïve. That’s leadership.

So here’s my challenge to both sides:

🔹 To the “toxic” leaders out there: If something in this post stings a little, sit with it. That sting might just be growth knocking.

🔹 To the burned-out employees: You can hold people accountable and still believe in the possibility of change. Just make sure you’re not the one doing all the emotional labor.

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Final Thought:

Every toxic trait has a story.
Every leader has a choice.
Let’s stop labeling and start leading.

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💬 Need help navigating the recovery or the redemption side of leadership? Let’s work through it together.

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