Just Because You Can Work Through Trauma Doesn’t Mean You Should Have To

Written By Cari Borden

Why unhealthy expectations have become the norm in toxic workplaces, and how we break the cycle.

There’s a dangerous myth quietly running many workplaces today:

“They’re strong. They’ll get through it.”

It sounds like a compliment. It’s not.
It’s an excuse.

An excuse to not check in.
To not offer support.
To not change anything at all.

Instead of asking, “Should we be helping this person heal?” the question becomes, “Can they still get the work done while they’re falling apart?”
And that, my friends, is how you take someone’s trauma and turn it into a productivity metric.

The New Badge of Honor: High-Functioning While Hurting

Let’s be honest, many of us were never taught how to process pain.
We were taught how to mask it, manage it, and monetize it.

Got trauma? Great.
Turn it into your hustle fuel.
Smile while burning out.
Get that employee-of-the-month award while quietly spiraling.

Somewhere along the way, “resilient” stopped meaning “healed” and started meaning “willing to suffer in silence.”
And the system loved that.

The Workplace Isn’t Supposed to Be a War Zone

It’s not just about big-T trauma like abuse or grief.
It’s about the day-in, day-out psychological warfare of being undervalued, micromanaged, gaslit, or ignored.

• It’s the leader who punishes you for setting boundaries.
• The team that calls you “dramatic” for taking a mental health day.
• The culture that celebrates who can “power through” rather than who leads with emotional intelligence.

And let’s not sugarcoat it:
That type of workplace isn’t asking for your best.
It’s demanding your soul.

Yes, You’re Capable. But At What Cost?

You can work through the chaos.
You can finish the deck after crying in the bathroom.
You can smile through a panic attack.
You’ve done it before. Maybe you’re doing it right now.

But here’s what no one tells you:

You shouldn’t have to.

Your ability to function while fractured is not proof you’re okay.
It’s proof you’ve been conditioned to survive dysfunction.

So, What Needs to Change?

Let’s talk action, not just awareness. Here’s how we start disrupting the cycle:

1. Leaders: Create space for humanity, not just performance.

Stop calling your team “family” if you’re not willing to treat them like people. That means recognizing when someone is struggling and responding with empathy, not expectations.

2. HR: Build systems that protect, not just policies that perform.

Mental health support shouldn’t be a brochure on the intranet. It should be embedded into how performance is reviewed, how feedback is delivered, and how promotions are earned.

3. Employees: You are not weak for needing rest.

You are not lazy for needing healing. And you don’t need to hit rock bottom to decide that your workplace isn’t worthy of you anymore.

Final Truth: You’re Not a Machine. Stop Letting Work Treat You Like One.

You were not hired to be indestructible.
You were hired because of your humanity, not despite it.

So next time someone says, “Wow, you’re so strong for working through that,”
You’re allowed to respond with:

“Actually, I’m strong for choosing not to anymore.”

Need support building emotionally intelligent leadership or learning how to lead a team out of burnout culture?
Let’s work together. Find me on Fiverr for personalized mentorship or subscribe to the blog for bolder takes on leadership and workplace healing.

#LeadBoldly #WorkplaceTrauma #YouDeserveBetter