The Real Reason DEI Makes You Uncomfortable

Written by Cari Borden

Let’s be honest.
You’re not uncomfortable because you don’t believe in Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. You’re uncomfortable because DEI puts a mirror in front of your identity, your influence, and your habits, and no one likes what they see when the mirror isn’t filtered.

❗ DEI Isn’t a Buzzword. It’s a Disruption.

We’ve confused “diversity” with “decoration.” But DEI was never meant to be cozy. It’s supposed to confront the status quo. And for many, that status quo feels personal.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth:

It challenges power structures (and let’s face it, people love power).
It questions how we got where we are (meritocracy myths, anyone?).
It forces a level of emotional discomfort that we’re not used to facing at work.

💥 Why It Feels Like a Threat

You’re not alone if you’ve ever thought:

“Am I going to say the wrong thing and get labeled?”
“Why am I being made to feel guilty for things I didn’t do?”
“What happens to my voice if I make room for others?”

Here’s the thing: DEI doesn’t erase your voice. It invites you to use it more responsibly.

But if you’ve been conditioned to associate power with being the loudest, smartest, or safest in the room… yeah, this is going to sting a bit.

🧨 DEI Became the Scapegoat

Somewhere along the way, DEI got rebranded as the villain. Not because it failed, but because it finally made people feel. Guilt, fear, defensiveness, awkwardness, all very human reactions.
But instead of leaning in, we backpedaled.

“Let’s rebrand it as ‘belonging.’ Let’s drop the equity part. Let’s go quiet for now.”
Translation? Let’s stay comfortable.

🧠 The Emotional Toll No One Talks About

Here’s the emotional truth:
DEI hits differently when you’ve never had to consider the system was rigged in your favor. It feels like a loss. Of status. Of clarity. Of control. And those feelings get misdirected at DEI programs instead of the system they’re trying to fix.

✔️ So What Can You Do Instead?

Let’s make this practical:

Start with self-awareness, not self-defense.
You’re allowed to feel uncomfortable. That’s where growth starts.
Make space, don’t just take it.
Inclusion isn’t about shrinking yourself; it’s about expanding the room.
Focus on behavior over guilt.
Performative guilt helps no one. Real change happens in action, not apology.
Ask yourself: Do I want to be right, or do I want to be better?

🧭 The Wrap-Up You Didn’t Know You Needed

DEI isn’t about cancel culture, guilt trips, or checking boxes.
It’s about building workplaces where everyone can thrive, and that includes you. But only if you’re willing to take a hard look at the systems, biases, and behaviors that got us here in the first place.

“DEI isn’t a warm blanket, it’s a mirror. And mirrors suck when you don’t like what you see.”

But growth? Growth looks good on you.

📣 Call to Action:

Tired of surface-level training that leaves everyone squirming, but no one changed?
👉 Let’s build better together.
Whether you’re a leader, an aspiring ally, or someone just trying to figure it all out, I’m here to help.

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