When the Victim Mentality Sits in the Boss’s Chair

Because it’s not just your teammate playing helpless.

Written By Cari Borden

We love a good coaching success story, the disengaged rep who turned it around, the hothead who learned to pause, the negative Nancy who found her inner optimist. But one archetype often gets the write-off: the victim.

They don’t just struggle. They surrender, blaming, deflecting, finger-pointing. “It’s not my fault” becomes their job description.

But here’s the twist: what happens when that employee gets promoted? Or worse, has already been running the show?

When Victimhood Becomes a Leadership Trait

Victim mentality is more than just feeling helpless, it’s a persistent refusal to take accountability, often paired with a deep commitment to finding someone else to blame. And while it’s commonly spotted among struggling employees, it’s shockingly under-discussed when the same behavior creeps into leadership.

The Employee Victim: We Know Them Well

You’ve seen it in meetings:

“Nobody told me.”
“I wasn’t trained properly.”
“I can’t help that the system crashed.”

Sometimes, with the right support and coaching, these individuals can learn to shift into accountability mode. But only if they want to.

The Leader Victim: Less Obvious, More Dangerous

Now let’s talk about the manager, director, or VP who deflects like it’s their job.

“The team didn’t execute.”
“They didn’t tell me the client was upset.”
“Corporate didn’t support the decision.”

Translation? “Not my fault.”

Except… it kind of is.

Why This Mindset Is So Harmful in Leadership

Culture suffers. When blame becomes the norm, trust erodes.
Accountability disappears. No one owns the outcome—everyone ducks and covers.
Feedback becomes unsafe. Constructive dialogue turns into defensive deflection.
Your best people leave. Because they’re tired of being blamed for someone else’s lack of leadership.

Why It Happens More Than You Think

Many leaders were never taught how to reflect, only how to perform.
There’s immense pressure to be “right,” even when wrong.
Blame feels safer than owning a mistake.

And when leadership promotes based on survival rather than substance, victim mentality doesn’t just survive, it gets a promotion.

Final Thought:

The victim mentality isn’t just an employee issue. it’s a leadership liability. A leader who can’t own outcomes can’t build trust. And a workplace built on blame isn’t a workplace at all, it’s a house of cards, one poor decision away from collapse.

💡Call to Action:

If you’ve ever had to coach up and dodge blame bombs in the process, you’re not alone.

Want to learn how to hold space for accountability. up, down, and across the org chart?
Let’s connect. Find me on Fiverr or subscribe to the blog for tools, tips, and the kind of real talk corporate handbooks don’t cover.

Because accountability isn’t just for the frontline.