Leading in Grief: What No One Tells You About Losing a Job

Written By Cari Borden

Losing a job isn’t just a professional setback. It’s a breakup. A death of routine. A gut punch to your confidence and identity. And if you’re someone who leads for a living someone who’s always been the rock, the fixer, the glue, job loss can feel like a betrayal.

Because no one tells you what to do when the leader needs leading.

This post isn’t for the people who are coasting. This is for the warriors. The emotionally intelligent, burnout-surviving, team-carrying leaders who suddenly found themselves… off the roster.

Let’s talk about it.

🔄 The 5 Stages of Career Grief (Yes, It’s a Thing)

Denial:
“They’ll call. This is temporary. I just need to refresh my email.”
You keep waking up at 7:00AM like it still matters. You reread your goodbye email wondering how something so abrupt could sound so polished.
Anger:
“I gave everything. And this is how it ends?”
You weren’t just showing up, you were mentoring, advocating, innovating. And yet… disposable? Cue righteous rage.
Bargaining:
“Maybe I could’ve stayed quiet in that meeting. Maybe I shouldn’t have coached up.”
But here’s the thing, you didn’t lose your job because you cared too much. You lost it because someone else cared too little.
Depression:
“I’m not even sure who I am anymore without that title.”
Let it land. This stage is where most people hit pause, but it’s also where the healing actually starts.
Acceptance:
“I may be unemployed, but I’m not useless.”
You remember you’re more than your business card. You realize leadership was never about your title, it was about your impact. And you still have plenty of that left.

✋ Grief While Leading Others

Some of us lose our jobs.
Some of us stay but lose our faith in the people around us.
Some of us are promoted but grieving the version of ourselves that felt more human and less… automated.

Grief doesn’t just show up in funerals and family drama. It walks right into the office with us.
And leaders, real ones, don’t ignore it. They make space for it.

🛠 Tips for Leading Through Your Own Grief:

✅ Name it.
Grief in the workplace doesn’t always wear black. It shows up as fatigue, apathy, or over-functioning. Put a name on it so you can take its power away.

✅ Build a ritual.
Burn the notebook. Take one last screenshot of your team Slack. Write the goodbye letter you didn’t send. Let something close so something else can open.

✅ Don’t numb it—nurture it.
The goal isn’t to “bounce back.” It’s to grow back stronger, wiser, and clearer on your non-negotiables.

✅ Ask for help.
Yes, YOU. The mentor. The fixer. The coach. Ask for help. Whether it’s a Fiverr mentor (hi 👋🏼) or a trusted friend who won’t tell you to “just keep networking.”

🔁 Final Thought:

You didn’t fail. You transitioned. And grieving that is not a weakness, it’s a rite of passage.

📣 Call to Action:

If you’re grieving a job you didn’t want to leave, or a role that left you before you were ready, let’s talk. You don’t have to heal alone.

💬 Need help navigating what’s next?
💼 Book a session with me on Fiverr or check out the other posts on this blog.
👣 One foot in front of the other. You’ve got this.