Written By Cari Borden

Congratulations, fellow elites! You’ve made it into the manual. Today’s lesson: How to Erase History for Fun and Profit. Because when the masses can’t connect the dots between yesterday and today, our future rockets to space (literally) are safe.

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Chapter 1: Hide the Books, Hide the Truth
Step one in the playbook: ban, ban, ban. If it teaches empathy, highlights injustice, or encourages critical thinking, it’s gotta go.

• Labor rights? Too inspiring.
• Civil rights? Too unifying.
• Women’s rights? Way too threatening.
  We’ll say it’s about “protecting children,” but really it’s about protecting dividends.

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Chapter 2: Rewrite the Narrative
If we must keep some history, let’s make it a fairy tale:

• The good guys always wore suits.
• The bad guys were just “misunderstood.”
• And nothing systemic ever happened, because that might require systemic change.

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Chapter 3: Keep People Fighting Over Scraps
Our motto: “Divide, distract, and conquer.” Let the people argue over bathroom policies, book titles, and which generation ruined what. While they’re busy brawling on social media, we’re busy moving profits offshore.

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Chapter 4: Space Travel Ain’t Cheap
Listen, rockets don’t fund themselves. If the masses get too educated, they might notice we’re siphoning billions while they’re drowning in medical debt. Can’t have that. Keep them nostalgic, fearful, and broke. That way we can plan our next Mars vacation without interruptions.

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Final Reminder from HQ
If people ever realized the power of remembering history, the good to grow, the bad to fix, and the ugly to destroy, they’d stop buying tickets to our puppet show. Worse, they might actually cut the strings.

So, repeat after us: Hide the history, profit off the chaos, and always keep your boarding pass to space ready.

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👉 Tired of the puppet show? Stick around here on the blog or grab me on Fiverr, for the antidote: a little truth, a little strategy, and a whole lot of sarcasm.