Written By Cari Borden

Let’s be real: a lot of what gets labeled as success in the corporate world is nothing more than profit dressed up in empathy’s clothing. Shiny awards, mission statements painted on walls, and leaders who preach “we care about people” while quietly cutting benefits or overloading workloads. That’s not empathy. That’s polished greed.

So how do you spot when “empathy” in leadership is nothing more than performance art? And more importantly, how do you survive it?

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How to Spot Performative Empathy

1. Scripted Concern
   Leaders who pull out buzzwords like “psychological safety” or “work-life balance” only when HR is in the room. The empathy feels memorized, not lived.
2. Selective Caring
   If empathy only extends upward to executives or outward to the company’s image (think: PR campaigns, charity events) but rarely downward to employees, it’s performative.
3. Emotional Bait-and-Switch
   When your boss starts a sentence with “We’re like a family here” and ends it with layoffs, schedule cuts, or unpaid overtime, you’re witnessing empathy weaponized.
4. Recognition Theater
   The public shout-outs, “employee of the month” plaques, or motivational speeches, without any real improvement in pay, workload, or well-being.

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How to Survive Performative Empathy

1. Document the Disconnect
   Keep track of when words don’t match actions. Patterns will reveal whether you’re dealing with leadership blind spots or full-blown hypocrisy.
2. Protect Your Boundaries
   Don’t let guilt-tripping dressed as empathy keep you overworking or over-giving. Remember: you are not selfish for protecting your mental and emotional health.
3. Find Real Allies
   Spot the leaders and peers who live empathy. They’ll show it in how they act consistently, even when nobody’s watching. Those are the people you lean into.
4. Decide When It’s Time to Exit
   Surviving doesn’t always mean staying. If performative empathy has become the culture’s default, the real power move may be to walk away with your energy, dignity, and skills intact.

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Final Thought

Success without empathy is hollow, it shines, but it doesn’t last. When you learn to recognize polished greed for what it is, you give yourself permission to stop internalizing it. You can survive it, outgrow it, and eventually thrive where authentic empathy isn’t a show, it’s the standard.

✨ If this hit home, check out my Fiverr coaching gigs where I help leaders and professionals spot the difference between polished greed and real leadership. And don’t forget to explore my Leadership Styles page for more insights into the leadership traits shaping today’s workplaces.