Written By Cari Borden

Let’s be honest, some leaders treat “collaborative conversation” like it’s a mythical creature. They nod, they smile, they say “let’s brainstorm” … but the actual conversation? One-sided. Their side.

So what do you do when you, as the employee, need collaboration and your leader just doesn’t know how to drive it? You step in, not to take over, but to gently steer.

What a Collaborative Conversation Looks Like

At its core, collaboration isn’t rocket science. It’s simply:

• Shared purpose → we’re solving this together.
• Balanced voice → everyone gets to speak, not just the loudest.
• Active listening → ideas aren’t just heard, they’re explored.
• Next steps → clear action, not “let’s circle back sometime.”

That’s the blueprint. The issue is that some leaders confuse “talking at you” with “talking with you.”

How to Drive Collaboration from the Employee Side

If your leader isn’t naturally collaborative, here’s how you can set the tone:

1. Frame the purpose upfront
   Instead of waiting for the meeting to drift, kick off with:
   “To make sure we’re aligned, can I frame this as: our goal today is [X]?”
   Suddenly, you’ve anchored the conversation in clarity.
2. Invite voices into the room
   If your leader dominates the airtime, create space for others:
   “I’d like to hear what Alex thinks on this since he’s closest to the numbers.”
   It’s respectful and it breaks the monopoly of one voice.
3. Ask questions that guide, not challenge
   Leaders who aren’t collaborative often shut down when they feel questioned. So reframe:
   Instead of: “Why did we decide that?”
   Try: “How do you see this fitting with the bigger objective?”
   Same curiosity, less defensiveness.
4. Summarize and anchor next steps
   If no one captures the action items, collaboration dissolves into thin air. Step up:
   “So from today, it sounds like A, B, and C are our next moves—does that sound right?”

The Hidden Win

When you drive collaboration from your side, you not only make the conversation productive, but you also model what good leadership looks like, without the title. That kind of influence doesn’t go unnoticed.

Because sometimes the best leaders aren’t the ones with the corner office. They’re the ones who know how to create a conversation where everyone wins.

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If you’re tired of meetings that feel like monologues, let’s change that. Follow me here for more on leadership, collaboration, and how to survive (and thrive) under leaders who skipped the “EQ training.” And if your team is craving better conversations, I’ve got coaching and training programs that can help—find me on Fiverr or connect through LeadBoldly1.blog.