The Bruises You Can’t See: Workplace Abuse Without the Visible Scars

Written By Cari Borden

When we think of abuse, our minds often jump to what’s visible, bruises, marks, injuries. But in the workplace, and in life, not all wounds show up on the skin. Sometimes the deepest bruises are invisible, carved by words, dismissive actions, and the constant drip of “you’re not good enough.”

And here’s the hard truth: those unseen scars often take longer to heal than the visible ones. They embed themselves into confidence, trust, and self-worth. They can last a lifetime if they’re never named.

What Workplace Abuse Looks Like (Without the Black Eye)

Constant Undermining: When every idea you bring forward is dismissed or twisted.
Isolation Tactics: Being excluded from meetings, emails, or decisions that directly affect your work.
Gaslighting: Being told your concerns are “all in your head” or that you’re “too sensitive.”
Public Shaming: Criticism in front of peers instead of private, constructive feedback.
Micromanagement to the Point of Paralysis: Where “oversight” becomes a leash, not a guide.

None of these leave a visible scar. But every one of them leaves an internal bruise.

Tools to Survive (Until You Can Get Out)

Because not everyone can just pack up and walk away, here’s how to protect yourself while you navigate your exit strategy:

Document Everything: Dates, times, what was said, who was present. Documentation is your shield if HR or legal action becomes necessary.
Build Your Allies: Find peers, mentors, or even external support groups who will affirm your reality. Isolation is the abuser’s weapon, connection is yours.
Protect Your Self-Talk: Counter their narrative with your own. Write down your wins, however small, and revisit them often.
Set Boundaries (Where You Can): Even small limits, like responding to emails only during work hours, can reclaim pieces of your power.
Create Your Exit Plan: Update your resume, build your network, start applying. Survival mode isn’t forever; it’s a bridge.

Why This Conversation Matters

Workplace abuse doesn’t just affect individuals, it poisons teams, tanks productivity, and erodes trust across organizations. Leaders who look the other way become complicit. And peers who stay silent, even when they see it, often deepen the scars.

If you’ve ever thought, “It’s not that bad, at least they’re not hitting me,” let this be a reminder: abuse is abuse, whether it shows up as a bruise or a backhanded comment.

Call to Action

If you’re in a workplace that leaves you with bruises no one can see, you’re not imagining it, and you’re not alone. Build your documentation, find your allies, and take steps toward an exit. And if you’re in a position of leadership? Start paying attention. The absence of visible scars does not mean the absence of harm.

Because healing starts when we recognize the wound.