Ethics Is Caught, Not Taught: Leaders Model the Culture They Create

Written by Cari Borden

Let’s be honest (and brave) for a minute

Posters, policies, and slide decks don’t keep your culture on the rails, your leaders’ micro-behaviors do. Employees decide what’s “normal” by watching who gets promoted, who gets protected, and what gets quietly tolerated. In other words: ethics is caught more than taught. And leaders? You’re the petri dish.

“What you allow becomes your standard. What you model becomes your culture.”

This isn’t an accusation; it’s an invitation. If we want a trustworthy, grown-up workplace, we have to lead like grown-ups, especially when it costs us convenience or short-term results.

“Caught vs. Taught” in real life

Taught is the training module. Caught is the Tuesday. Here’s the difference:

Taught: “We speak up.”
Caught: A senior leader receives hard feedback without punishing the messenger.
Taught: “We’re customer-obsessed.”
Caught: We delay a launch because QA found a safety risk, then we celebrate the call, not the missed deadline.
Taught: “We respect time.”
Caught: Meetings start and end on time, even for the C-suite.
Taught: “We value diversity.”
Caught: Succession slates actually include diverse candidates, and selections are backed by clear criteria, not vibes.

If your training says one thing and your Tuesdays say another, Tuesday wins.

The Leader Mirror: What your team is catching from you

Watch for these subtle “culture signals” people copy without thinking:

Response to pressure: Do you bend rules when targets slip, or do you re-scope honestly?
Credit & blame: Do you share credit and own misses, or the reverse?
Information hygiene: Do you escalate facts or “massage” them to please up the chain?
Boundaries: Do you send midnight messages and then preach work–life balance?
Fairness in opportunity: Who gets the stretch work and sponsorship, your favorites or your highest potential?
Language: Do you say “we” when it’s good and “you” when it’s bad?

Pro tip: Your team is not learning what you say, they’re learning what you normalize.

Build ethics into the system (not just the seminar)

If ethics lives only in a PowerPoint, it dies in real decisions. Bake it into:

Hiring & promotions: Use structured rubrics with observable behaviors (not charisma). Weight “how” at least 40% alongside “what.”
Incentives: Tie bonuses to customer outcomes, safety, and quality, not only revenue.
Decision logs: For material calls, record the rationale, risks, and who was in the room. Transparency is a disinfectant.
Speak-up channels that actually work: Confidential, retaliation-proof, with published resolution timelines.
Post-mortems without shame: Focus on facts and fixes; reward the finder, not the spinner.
Vendor standards: Your ethics extend to partners. Require (and audit) their alignment.

The 10 Micro-Behaviors That Move Culture (steal this)

Start meetings with decision clarity: “What decision are we making and by when?”
Say the quiet part out loud: “Here’s the trade-off we’re considering, and the risk.”
Ask the last-to-speak to go first. You’ll surface truth, not just seniority.
Close the loop publicly when someone raises a concern. Silence is a punishment.
Default to written recap: decisions, owners, dates. (Memory is not governance.)
Practice two-way shadowing once a quarter, leaders sit with frontline work.
Normalize No: Praise boundary setting and ethical pushback.
Remove sarcasm from feedback; it’s camouflage for contempt.
Time-box “heroics.” If heroics become habit, fix the system.
Build thank-you muscle: Celebrate ethical calls, not just record quarters.

Leader Scripts for Hard, Real Moments

When pressure tempts shortcuts:
“If we can’t hit this number ethically, we’ll change the plan, not the standards.”
When someone surfaces a tough issue:
“Thank you for the risk you just took. We’ll log this today and update you by Friday.”
When you must choose values over vanity metrics:
“We’re delaying the launch. Quality and safety are the metric that matter most.”
When a high-performer violates the ‘how’:
“Results can’t outrun our values. We’re pausing new scope until behaviors change.”

The 30/60/90 Ethical Culture Sprint

Days 1–30: See it.

Run an anonymous “culture tells” poll: Where do we cut corners? What’s sacred?
Audit incentives, approvals, and escalations for failure points.
Publish a one-page “Ethical Decision Ladder” (see below) and use it once this week.

Days 31–60: Fix it.

Re-weight performance reviews to include values-based behaviors.
Launch a retaliation-proof speak-up workflow with published SLAs.
Do one values-over-vanity decision publicly and explain why.

Days 61–90: Cement it.

Make monthly “Caught, Not Taught” town halls, leaders share real examples.
Rotate a cross-functional risk review council for big bets.
Tie a slice of leadership bonus to culture metrics (retention quality, safety, NPS, audit findings).

The Ethical Decision Ladder (printable mini-framework)

Who benefits? Who could be harmed?
What facts are missing? (No guesses.)
Which value is at risk? (Name your top 3 values.)
What’s the long-term consequence if everyone copies this behavior?
What would we proudly explain to a customer, candidate, or regulator?
Decide + document + share the why.

Self-Audit: Are you modeling what you want caught?

Score each from 1 (needs work) to 5 (rock solid):

I invite dissent and protect dissenters.
I reward the how as much as the what.
I decline undue urgency and renegotiate scope instead of cutting corners.
I close feedback loops on time, in public.
I correct favorites bias in opportunities and visibility.
I make trade-offs explicit and logged.
I say “no” when ethics or capacity require it and explain my rationale.

If you’re under 28, pick two behaviors and lock them in for 30 days. Re-score.

Closing thought

Leaders model the culture they create. When you model clarity, fairness, and courage, people don’t just learn ethics, they catch it. And then they pass it on.

Call to Action

If you’re building a leadership culture people don’t have to recover from, let’s work together.

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