Written by Cari Borden

Because leadership isn’t a title — it’s a reflection.

Let’s do something brave today.
Not strategic. Not “development-oriented.”
Brave.

Stand in front of a mirror, the real kind or the metaphorical one and ask yourself a question most leaders avoid:

“Would I follow me?”

This question isn’t meant to shame you. It’s meant to sharpen you. Leadership isn’t a badge you clip on; it’s a daily practice. And the people who report to you? They already know the answer. The mirror just gives you a chance to catch up.

Let’s break it down.

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1. If You Weren’t the Leader… Would You Still Want the Job You Create?

Some leaders unintentionally build the kind of workplace they themselves would quit.

If your team is…

• constantly firefighting,
• scared to speak up,
• confused about priorities, or
• exhausted from shifting goalposts,

…that’s not a motivation problem. That’s a leadership environment problem.

If you wouldn’t accept those conditions for your career, why should they?

Mirror moment:
Do I create the kind of workplace I would choose to work in?

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2. Do People Feel Braver Around You — or Smaller?

Leaders influence the emotional temperature of a room before they even speak.

Some raise safety.
Some raise cortisol.
Some raise eyebrows.
Only a few raise people.

People should feel bigger, smarter, and more capable after interacting with you, not drained, dismissed, or doubting themselves.

Mirror moment:
Do people inhale or exhale when I walk in?

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3. Do You Model What You Demand?

Accountability isn’t a weapon. It’s a mirror.

If you expect your team to:

• communicate clearly,
• own their impact,
• stay calm under pressure,
• collaborate across differences,
• ask questions,
• grow…

…then you should be doing exactly that, visibly and consistently.

Nothing destroys credibility faster than “Do as I say, not as I do.”

Mirror moment:
Would I trust someone who leads the way I do?

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4. Are You Building Leaders or Building Dependence?

True leaders build capability.
Insecure leaders build dependency.

One asks, “How can I help you grow?”
The other asks, “How can you make my life easier?”

One creates future leaders.
The other creates burnout machines.

Your reflection will tell you exactly which one you are.

Mirror moment:
If I left tomorrow, would my team crumble, or continue thriving?

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5. Are You Courageous Enough to Own Your Shadow?

Every leader has blind spots, impatience, over-functioning, perfectionism, avoidance, ego, conflict aversion, or the subtle addiction to being the smartest person in the room.

Great leaders acknowledge their shadows before their shadows lead them.

Mirror moment:
What parts of my leadership would I avoid if someone else modeled them?

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6. Do You Apologize with Accountability — Not Excuses?

“Sorry you feel that way”
is not the same as
“I hear the impact, and here’s how I’ll fix it.”

Humility is magnetic.
Defensiveness is repellent.
Your team knows the difference.

Mirror moment:
When I get it wrong, do I repair or deflect?

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7. Do You Lead People… or Do You Manage Them?

Managing tasks is easy.
Managing people is exhausting.
Leading people is transformational.

Leadership requires:

• trust,
• presence,
• self-awareness,
• emotional intelligence,
• boundaries,
• clarity,
• vision,
• accountability,
• humanity.

If you want followers, you must lead from where people actually are, not where it’s convenient for you to pretend they are.

Mirror moment:
Do I understand my people, or just their output?

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The Final Reflection

If this question makes you squirm, good.
It means you’re self-aware enough to grow.

The truth is simple:

People rarely leave jobs.
They leave leaders they wouldn’t follow.

And they stay for leaders who show up with:

• courage,
• empathy,
• consistency,
• honesty,
• accountability,
• clarity,
• and humanity.

The kind of leaders who break cycles, not spirits.
The kind of leaders who create psychological safety, not silent suffering.
The kind of leaders who see potential, not problems.

The kind of leaders they would, without hesitation, choose to follow.

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Your Leadership Challenge for the Week

Ask yourself daily:

“If I were on my own team, how would I feel after interacting with me today?”

If the answer stings, don’t panic. Adjust. Repair. Grow.

Great leaders aren’t perfect.
They’re self-aware.

And self-awareness starts with a mirror.