Written By Cari Borden

And what emotionally intelligent leaders can do to fix it.

Let’s start with the uncomfortable truth:
Most teams say they collaborate… but what they actually do is coordinate, co-exist, or comply.

Collaboration has become one of those corporate words that looks great on a values poster but collapses under real-world dynamics. Everyone nods their head in agreement during meetings, “Yes, collaboration is key!”, but behind the scenes, projects stall, communication fractures, silos grow roots, and people quietly revert to “I’ll just do it myself.”

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
And no, your team isn’t lazy or broken.
They’re human.

Let’s unpack what’s really happening.

---

1. Collaboration Isn’t a Skill—It’s a Behavior Few Are Taught

We assume collaboration comes naturally, but collaboration is learned, not instinctive.

Most workplaces reward:

• Individual performance
• Speed over alignment
• Expertise over humility
• Certainty over curiosity

Yet collaboration requires the opposite:

• Shared ownership
• Slower upfront alignment to move faster later
• Psychological safety
• Willingness to be wrong and learn openly

Teams don’t avoid collaboration because they don’t care.
They avoid it because they were never trained to operate collectively instead of individually.

---

**2. “Collaboration” Often Means “Agree With Me”

A silent workplace truth: many leaders say they want collaboration, when what they actually want is agreement.

You know the drill:

• Ideas are “welcomed,” but only if they align with leadership’s preferred direction.
• People “contribute,” but their input doesn’t influence the final decision.
• Dissent is “heard,” but not integrated.

Soon, employees learn the game:
Speak less. Conform more. Protect yourself.

You cannot have collaboration where disagreement is penalized.
True collaboration requires teams to be able to say:
“I see it differently, and that’s valuable.”

---

3. Psychological Safety Is Low — Even When Everyone Pretends It’s High

Teams will not collaborate when they fear:

• Being judged
• Being dismissed
• Being talked over
• Being labeled “difficult” for offering a contrary perspective
• Being punished for slowing things down with questions

Fear doesn’t always show up as panic.
Sometimes it shows up as silence.

A team with low psychological safety will always default to:
quiet compliance, surface-level agreement, and self-preservation.

Which brings us to…

---

4. Meetings Aren’t Structured for Collaboration — They’re Structured for Updates

The average meeting is:

• A status dump
• A slide show
• A passive listening session
• A leader speaking 90% of the time

But collaboration requires:

• Open dialogue
• Co-creation
• Clarifying questions
• Shared problem-solving
• Space for collective thinking

Most teams don’t collaborate because they never get the time, structure, or facilitation needed for it.

We keep asking teams to collaborate without giving them the conditions that make collaboration possible.

---

5. Siloed Incentives Destroy Collaborative Behavior

You cannot preach collaboration and then reward:

• Individual heroes
• Departmental wins over organizational wins
• “My metrics vs. your metrics” thinking
• Competing priorities with no shared scoreboard

People don’t do what you say.
People do what you reward.

And when rewards conflict with collaboration?
Collaboration loses.

---

6. Collaboration Requires Trust — And Trust Requires Transparency

If people don’t trust the:

• Process
• Leadership
• Motives
• Decisions
• Workload distribution
• Timeline realities

…they will not collaborate.
They’ll protect their territory and minimize their exposure.

Collaboration dies wherever transparency is optional.

---

7. “Too Busy” Becomes the Corporate Escape Hatch

Teams say:
“I don’t have time to collaborate.”

What they often mean is:
“I don’t have time to fix misunderstandings, slow down to align, clarify expectations, or revisit assumptions.”

Ironically, skipping collaboration creates:

• Rework
• Conflict
• Duplication
• Misalignment
• Burnout
• Slower outcomes

Time saved upfront becomes time lost later.

---

So… How Do We Actually Fix This?

Collaboration doesn’t improve by telling teams to “collaborate better.”
It improves when leaders create conditions where collaboration becomes the easiest, safest, and most rewarding option.

Here’s the starting point:

---

1. Build Psychological Safety

Normalize:

• Questions
• Pausing to align
• Challenging ideas
• Asking for help
• Saying “I don’t know yet”

Safety is the soil collaboration grows from.

---

2. Redefine Meetings

Shift from:
“Tell me what’s happening”
to
“Let’s think together.”

Pro tip:
If a meeting could have been an email, it wasn’t a collaboration problem. It was a leadership problem.

---

3. Reward Collective Wins

Change the scoreboard.
Make collaboration visible.
Recognize partnered efforts, not just individual heroics.

---

4. Train Collaboration as a Skill

Not just communication.
Not just teamwork.
Collaboration.

Teach teams how to:

• Co-create
• Facilitate discussions
• Use structured thinking tools
• Resolve conflict
• Align across silos
• Run effective working sessions

This is where L&D becomes the quiet hero.

---

5. Lead With Transparency and Clarity

Collaboration thrives where people understand:

• The “why” behind decisions
• The desired outcome
• Who owns what
• How decisions are made
• How success will be measured

Clarity is kindness.
Transparency is trust.

---

The Leadership Reality Check

If your team isn’t collaborating, it’s not because they don’t want to.
It’s because the environment hasn’t made collaboration:

• Safe
• Practical
• Skill-based
• Rewarded
• Modeled from the top

Teams will always default to what the culture actually supports, not what the posters claim.

Collaboration is the product.
Psychological safety, clarity, trust, modeling, and aligned incentives are the ingredients.

If you want collaboration, build those.

The results will follow.