Written by Cari Borden

Here’s the uncomfortable truth most workplaces avoid:
Perception is reality… until you have more than one person in the room.

If every human sees through a different lens, shaped by experience, bias, trauma, values, culture, assumptions, power, and expectations, then yes…
everyone can be right and wrong at the same time.

And that paradox is exactly where teams fall apart, trust erodes, and collaboration turns into quiet resentment simmering just below the surface.

The Myth of “Same Page” Thinking

We tell teams to “get on the same page,” but we rarely hand them the tools to write that page together.

Most of the time, here’s what actually happens:

• One person thinks they’re being clear.
• Another person interprets through fear or past experiences.
• Someone else fills in the blanks with assumptions.
• And everyone thinks they’re operating from the same truth.

But they’re not.
They’re operating from their perceptions, and perceptions often get mistaken for facts.

This is why communication breaks down even when everyone thinks they’re being reasonable.

When Perception and Reality Clash

If you’ve ever said:

• “That’s not what I meant…”
• “That’s not how I saw it…”
• “I thought we agreed…”

…you’ve experienced the gap.

The perception gap is the distance between:

• What I intended
• What you heard
• What you assumed
• What you decided was true

That gap is where conflict grows, trust breaks, and teams start operating in survival mode, not collaboration mode.

So What Will It Take To Be on the Same Page?

Not magic.
Not perfect communication.
Not mind-reading (though it would help).

It takes three things most workplaces talk about but rarely practice:

1. Curiosity Over Certainty

Instead of assuming, judging, or defending:

• Ask
• Clarify
• Re-ask
• Confirm

Certainty closes the conversation.
Curiosity keeps it open.

2. Transparency About Intent

People can’t see inside your mind.
If intent isn’t spoken aloud, it’s invented in someone else’s imagination.

State:

• Why you’re sharing something
• What you hope to accomplish
• What you’re not trying to do

Clarity reduces confusion, and conflict.

3. Shared Meaning

Most misalignment isn’t about content, it’s about interpretation.

Ask:

• “When you say urgent, what does that mean?”
• “When you say support, what does it look like?”
• “When you say good performance, what’s the standard?”

Shared meaning creates shared pages.

Navigating Differing Realities Without Losing Trust

The goal isn’t for everyone to share the same reality.
That’s impossible, we’re wired differently.

The goal is to create a culture where:

• Differences aren’t threats
• Questions aren’t challenges
• Clarification isn’t confrontation
• And perception isn’t taken as proof of wrongdoing

When trust is strong, the gap between perception and reality becomes a bridge, not a battlefield.

When trust is weak, that same gap becomes a chasm.

The Bottom Line

Everyone can be right. Everyone can be wrong. Everyone can be trying their best.
And everyone can still miss each other completely.

The real work, the human work, is learning how to build shared understanding in a world full of individual realities.

Perception may be reality.
But trust is what makes those realities livable, navigable, and connected.